Rememberence
by SpecialHell
Summary: After Mac's accident in S6 Ep22 'Point of View' he loses his memory. Pre-slash Danny/Mac.
1. Chapter 1

_A/N. Warning; this is a long one! (The note, not the story)_

 _You may have noticed my absence (or you may have not; I probably don't mean that much to you in the grand scheme of things), and you may also recall a while back that the last CSI:NY story I wrote was billed as 'probably' the last NY story I was going to post. It turns out that it wasn't. This particular story was stuck in my 'probably never going to be finished' file, but when I was clearing it out, I decided to give this one another try._

 _Now, I can't say it's going to be my best work. Then again, if you ask me on any given day I'll probably say most of my work is awful anyways. Point being: this half-written story was my way back into writing after a painful hiatus induced by things I won't go into here. If you enjoy it, tell me. If you have a constructive piece of advice, tell me that too. If you want to be unnecessarily negative for no good reason, you can take that elsewhere. I'm mean enough to myself, I don't need your help._

 _This story is set after Mac's accident in S6 Ep22 – 'Point of View' - He loses his memory as a result. It is a pre-slash with very little actual slash. Enjoy._

* * *

Mac's eyes opened under protest. The steady beeping of a machine near his head sounded much louder to his ears than it was. Taking in a shaky breath, he tried to push himself up. Mac's arms buckled underneath him and he let out a pained sigh. He jumped out of his skin when he felt a hand on his arm.

"Don't try to move, Mac." The voice was gruff, and Mac couldn't tell if it was natural or due to lack of sleep. The red rings around the man's eyes suggested the latter.

"I'll get the doctor." Mac could only nod as the wiry blonde man left the room in a rush. Looking around slowly, Mac took in his surroundings. The hospital room was plain and silent save for the beeping of the heart monitor. Mac looked down at his arms as they lay against the white sheets. He tried to move his fingers and ball his hands. One hand was unresponsive; wrapped tightly in sterile while gauze. Bruises wound their way up both arms, and in the back of his mind Mac noticed he should be feeling pain. The door to the room opened, and the blonde man came back in, followed by someone who must be a doctor.

"Good morning, Detective Taylor," The doctor smiled. "How are you feeling?" Mac looked up at the doctor, unsure of what to say. The blonde man hovered behind the doctor; nervousness radiating off him in waves.

"Mac?" He asked when Mac remained silent.

"I, uh…" Mac picked at the bed sheets absently. "I don't remember."

"You fell two stories over a railing, Mac," The man spoke quickly. "It's a miracle you didn't break anything major. You've been unconscious for three days."

"No," Mac tried to explain; panic rising as he looked at someone who was obviously a friend. "I mean, I don't remember anything." The doctor looked worried at the statement.

"What do you mean by 'anything' Detective?"

"I can't…" Mac sighed in frustration; looking at the blonde man. "I don't know who I am."


	2. Chapter 2

Danny paced outside Mac's hospital room. He stopped dead when he saw Flack striding down the corridor.

"What's going on?" Flack asked as he stopped in front of Danny.

"It's Mac," Danny sighed; his worry not lessening now someone else was here. "He doesn't know who he is. He don't remember any of us." Flack paled at the news, sitting heavily in a nearby chair.

"What did the doctor say?" Danny sat next to Don as he spoke.

"He said it's retrograde amnesia caused by the fall. They're sending up a shrink to check him out soon."

"How is he?" Flack asked softly. "Besides not knowing who he is?"

"He's got a bunch of cuts and bruises and he fractured one wrist. It's a freakin' miracle he didn't die, Don." Flack rested a hand on Danny's shoulder as his friend began to panic again. Danny let out a slow breath and looked over to Flack.

"The doctor said he'll be cleared for release by the end of the week."

"Well that's something at least. You want me to call the others?" Danny shook his head as he stood up.

"Nah, it's alright. I'll do it."

"Ok," Flack replied as he too stood up. "I'll get us some coffee." Danny smiled gratefully as he retrieved his phone from his pocket; watching as Flack left in search of a vending machine.

(~*~)

When Flack got back with the coffee, Danny was standing with what the detective assumed was Mac's doctor. The doctor was talking quietly, and Danny looked intensely relieved at his words. Flack approached slowly, catching Danny's eyes before he said anything.

"Here," Flack handed Danny the coffee, and the doctor excused himself. "What was that all about?"

"The shrink just finished up with Mac," Danny explained, sipping the coffee. "He said there's no permanent damage from what he can tell and from the scans. Mac's gonna be released tomorrow, and we just gotta try and jog his memory."

"Where's everyone else?" Don asked. Danny shook his head.

"They caught a double homicide uptown. They'll try and get here as they can, but it's pretty much just us for now." Flack nodded along as Danny led him towards Mac's closed door.

"You ready?" Danny asked, searching Flack's expression carefully. The detective only nodded, and Danny took that as enough; letting his hand fall to the door. There was a moment of hesitation, before Danny turned the knob and pushed.


	3. Chapter 3

Mac looked up as the blond man – Danny, he reminded himself – came into the room. He had a tall, dark haired man with him who was looking at Mac with trepidation.

"Hey Mac," Danny spoke softly. "How you feelin'?"

"Kinda like a Piñata," Mac answered, and Danny laughed a little. Don stepped forward nervously.

"Mac?"

"Mac, this is Don Flack," Danny said. Mac looked up at the man and smiled weakly.

"I'm sorry," Mac offered with a sigh. Flack gave a wide smile and a shake of his head.

"Don't worry about it," He replied. "Just focus on getting your memory back." Mac nodded; seemingly happy to have something to focus on.

"The rest of our team are working right now," Danny explained. "But they'll come in and see you as soon as they can." Mac nodded but didn't answer. Danny understood, and kept talking.

"The doctor is clearing you to be released tomorrow. We'll get you back to your apartment, maybe take you to the lab and see if anything shakes loose." Mac didn't know what to say, but Danny seemed to understand. Mac's eyes were drawn to Flack as the tall man sat in a nearby chair. Mac closed his eyes as a sharp pain stabbed behind his eyelids.

 _Blood was rushing through his fingers. Panic rose in his chest as he looked down at Flack's unconscious form; covered in soot and deathly pale._

Mac's eyes snapped open. Danny and Don were looking at him worriedly.

"You alright?" Danny asked slowly. Mac shook his head.

"I saw… I think I remembered… There was so much blood." Flack stood slowly.

"What was it, Mac?" Mac looked up at Don; pain clear on his face.

"It was you. There was so much blood and dirt. You were…" Mac swallowed thickly. "Dying." Danny and Flack sighed almost simultaneously, and Mac was surprised to find it was in relief.

"That was a long time ago," Don explained quietly. "There was an explosion. You saved my life that day." Mac didn't know what to say, so he just nodded slowly. Flack's phone rang, and the tall man answered it. After a moment of quiet conversation, he hung up and turned to the other two men in the room.

"That was dispatch. I gotta get going." Danny followed Don to the door; closing it behind the detective. Slowly he turned back to Mac.

"You should get some rest," He said as he sat in the room's only chair. "The doctor wants you stronger before he'll let you leave." Again Mac nodded, and Danny was disconcerted at how quiet his boss was being. Not letting it show on his face, Danny watched as Mac let his eyes fall closed.

Danny studied his boss as he slept. Things would get much harder for Mac as he started to remember. The loss of Claire alone could kill the usually stoic man. Remembering Flack meant it wouldn't be long before he remembered Corporal Whitney. Danny didn't know anyone who could help him through these losses – it was way before his time. Sighing softly, Danny closed his eyes. Knowing Mac was ok had relaxed him more than he was expecting, and he didn't fight it when he felt his eyes slipping closed.

(~*~)

Danny awoke to the sound of Mac in distress. The older man lay motionless in his bed, but an unintelligible stream of pleas were falling from his lips as he slept. Moving slowly, Danny approached Mac in the bed; trying to make out his words. All he got was 'no' 'please' and 'help' but it was enough to set alarm bells ringing. As carefully as he could, Danny rested a hand on Mac's chest; shaking him slightly.

"Mac?" Danny's voice was quiet, so he raised it just a little. "Mac, can you hear me? It's Danny. You need to wake up, Mac. C'mon." After a few more runs of mostly the same words, Mac's eyes began to flutter open. He looked up at Danny and the younger man felt him visibly relax.

"Danny," Mac sighed. Danny smiled; Mac remembered his name.

"Do you know what you were dreaming?" Danny asked carefully. It could have been old memories surfacing. After a long few seconds on trying to remember, Mac shook his head with a sigh. Danny nodded; his hand still on Mac's shoulder.

"Try and get some more sleep," Danny spoke quietly. "You need the rest; I'll be right here if you need me." Mac nodded; trying his best to ignore the sudden tightness in his chest when he looked at Danny. He could still feel Danny's hand on him, even as the younger man returned to the chair. Closing his eyes, Mac tried to relax. It was too late in the night to start analyzing the emotions that were swirling around inside him. Mac turned his head to the side; watching Danny in the darkness. The younger man had his eyes closed again, and Mac subconsciously smiled as Danny's breathing evened out. Mac continued to watch Danny sleep and in time his own eyelids became heavy.

(~*~)

Danny was at the front desk when he was almost bowled over by a ball of nervous energy called Adam.

"Danny!" Adam's eyes were wide and he looked a lot like he hadn't slept. "Where's Mac? Is he ok?"

"Adam, calm down," Danny spoke softly, but couldn't keep the chuckle out of his voice. "Mac is fine. Or as fine as he can be, since he has amnesia. I'm just filling out the paperwork to get him out of here." Adam nodded along with Danny's words; visibly relaxing as he spoke. "What are you doing here?"

"Everyone else was too busy, so I volunteered to check up on you. This case is all legwork, no forensics."

"Alright," Danny turned back to finish signing the papers, before leading Adam to Mac's room. "Mac is through there; he won't know who you are, but I need you to help him get ready to go." Adam nodded and after a small hesitation, he entered the room.

"Mac?" Adam spoke before coming fully into the room; wanting to give Mac fair warning he was there.

"Hello?" Adam took the response as a good sign, and slipped all the way into the room.

"Hey boss," He smiled. "How you feeling?" to his surprise, Mac laughed.

"Everyone keeps asking me that." This was the only explanation Mac offered, so Adam shrugged it off.

"Who are you?"

"I'm Adam," Adam answered. When he didn't elaborate, Mac gave him a look, and Adam laughed in relief. Mac looked confused.

"Sorry," Adam explained. "It's just that look you gave me. I've seen it so many times; I guess it's kinda comforting." Mac nodded, still a little confused but also relaxed by the answer.

"I'm Adam Ross," He tried again. "I work for you; at the lab." Again Mac nodded. Adam wasn't sure what to say next. He took a stunted step towards the man in the bed.

"Danny asked me to help you get ready. He's signing the papers to get you outta here." Mac sat up fully, and Adam was at his side. When Adam touched Mac's hand, a flash of feeling went through him. Unconsciously he smiled.

"You ok?" Adam asked carefully. Mac looked up at Adam, still smiling.

"Yeah…" Mac looked back down and where their skin touched. "This feels familiar. Like I know you. I feel… protective, somehow." Adam smiled at this as he helped Mac out of the bed.

"You've, uh…" Adam's other hand moved to scratch the back of his head; suddenly embarrassed. "You've kinda become like a father to me over the years." Mac didn't know what to say to that. He had the feeling that Adam had never told him this before. They were saved by Danny opening the door.

"All the papers are signed. I'm ready when you are." Danny smiled, and Mac was hit with another wave of emotion. Pushing it aside, he simply nodded. When they got out of here, he would have to figure out why his apparent employee was suddenly stirring feelings that were far from professional.


	4. Chapter 4

Mac took a look around his apartment, trying to ignore the two men looking at him nervously from the door.

"Anything?" Adam eventually asked. Mac looked back at them, a mix of apology and frustration in his expression.

"Nothing," He sighed.

"It's alright," Danny spoke, stepping into the room. "You don't spend a whole lot of time here."

"That's right," Adam offered. "You practically live at the lab." Danny was still moving as Adam talked, and now he was standing right next to Mac.

"You should get some rest," Danny spoke softly, and Mac had to suppress the shiver that ran through him. "We'll go into work tomorrow and see if that helps anything." Mac didn't know what to say, so he just nodded. Adam took this as his cue, and he turned to Danny.

"I'll see you tomorrow," He said just as quietly before letting himself out. Mac studied Danny while the younger man was watching Adam leave. The worry Danny was feeling was not well concealed; Mac could tell from his body language what his face wouldn't show.

"You don't have to stay," Mac spoke, and Danny immediately turned to look at him. "If you've got someplace else to be." Surprisingly, Danny gave a soft smile.

"Got nowhere else to be," He replied; moving past Mac, further into the room.

"Don't you have to check in at work?" Mac wasn't sure if it was the concussion that caused the confusion.

"Right now my job is taking care of you." The reply was simple and brooked no arguments. Mac was surprised at how good that made him feel, but he just nodded and continued to look around the room; hoping to jog a memory. Danny left him to it; going into the kitchen. Mac's brow creased when he realised all he could feel was that warm glow he'd gotten when Danny had spoken to him. It was strange, but Mac felt like having Danny this close was as natural as breathing. The thought flickered across his mind, that maybe Danny wasn't giving him the whole story about their relationship. With a sigh, Mac closed his eyes; pinching the bridge of his nose.

"You alright?" Mac looked up to see Danny looking worriedly at him. He was about to answer that he was fine, when a sudden rush of memory tore through him.

 _Mac watched Danny walk away; the tension in his stride caused Mac's heart to clench. He wished he didn't have to be so hard on the younger man. Danny looked back shortly, and the hurt in his eyes almost made Mac march over and hug him, but he held firm. Trying to touch Danny now would be more likely to earn him a right hook than gratitude._

"Mac?" Danny's voice was laced with worry, and Mac looked up at him. "Are you ok?"

"Yeah," Mac replied shortly; still too unsure about his memories to share them. "Just a headache." Danny looked suspicious for a second, but slowly nodded.

"Alright, I'm gonna make some tea; it'll help you to rest." Mac smiled weakly as Danny went back to the kitchen. Moving over to the couch, Mac sat down heavily; resting his head in his hands. A moment passed, before Danny walked back in with two cups in his hands. He placed them both on the coffee table and turned to stand in front of Mac.

"Mac?" Taking a deep breath, Mac looked up at Danny. The scent that assaulted his nose sparked more memories, and he had to close his eyes.

 _Mac heart sank as he watched Danny cry in front of him. The normally so strong man crumpled in on himself; offering no resistance as Mac pulled him in and held him tight. Mac remained silent; he had no words to offer but hoped the embrace was enough. They stood like that, outside the busy hospital, until Danny had no more tears left._

Mac gasped; opening his eyes. His hands were clenched in fabric, and it took a moment for him to realise he'd pulled Danny to him. The younger man wasn't resisting, but he wasn't touching Mac back either. It was this more than anything that made Mac let go.

"Sorry," He mumbled.

"It's alright," Danny countered easily, sitting himself next to Mac. "What was it?" Mac sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

"I'm not sure. We were at a hospital… you were so upset…" Mac sighed again. Wishing he knew the rest of the details.

"Louie," Danny nodded jerkily; obviously still upset by the memory. "He's my brother; he got beat up a while back. They put him in the hospital. You were there for me when nobody else was." Danny offered Mac a weak smile. Mac didn't know what to say, so he just nodded. The fact that touching Danny felt so familiar sparked something inside Mac, but he was still too unsure to bring it up. Danny was the only person he felt close to right now and, illogical as it might be, he was afraid to lose that. Picking up his tea, Mac sipped at it slowly before putting it back on the table.

"I don't think I like tea," Mac offered. Danny smiled.

"I've never seen you drink it, so that might be true." Mac nodded but remained silent. He didn't know what to say. Danny saved him from trying. "So how're you feeling?" He asked, studying Mac's face intently. Mac took a deep breath and sighed.

"Confused," He admitted. "I'm getting flashes of memory, and little feelings. Things aren't really adding up right now."

"It may take awhile," Danny offered. "Going to the lab could help." Mac was again at a loss, and Danny compensated easily. "You should get some sleep. I volunteered to stay here tonight; the doctors don't want you to be left alone."

"Ok…" Mac trailed off; looking around the room. "Do I have a guest room, or…?" Danny nodded and stood.

"Yeah, I know where it is. I'll get you settled in your own room, then I can set it up myself." Mac felt a little uncomfortable letting Danny take care of him like this, but there was nothing he could do. Standing next to Danny, Mac tried his best to smile. Danny's soft laugh was unexpected.

"Mac, you don't have to put on a brave face around me. I know how unsettling this must be for you." Gratitude washed over Mac, and he let the smile drop. Fatigue and confusion took over his expression, and Danny didn't say anything; he simply walked towards the bedrooms, letting Mac follow in his own time.


	5. Chapter 5

Mac stared at the ceiling from his bed. As grateful as he was for Danny's help, it was nice to have a moment of silence. He needed to process everything. The flashes of memory were confusing enough, but this new string of feelings weren't helping. Mac was almost sure he'd never felt this way before, especially towards Danny, and the younger man made no indication to the contrary.

'Maybe he doesn't want to scare you.' His subconscious spoke up. 'Maybe he wants you to remember before he says anything.' It was possible. The doctor had told him not to force anything, and Danny clearly cared for him. The nature of that caring was yet to be revealed. With a sigh, Mac got out of bed. There was no way he'd sleep, even though he'd been told he had to.

The light was on in the living room, and Mac was immediately defensive as he stepped through. He relaxed when he saw Danny sitting on the sofa with a casefile in his hands. Danny gave him an amused look before putting down the file and standing up.

"You should be sleeping," He admonished softly.

"Couldn't settle," Mac mumbled. "Too much to think about." Danny's face showed understanding, and he walked towards the kitchen. Mac followed along.

"You want some hot chocolate?" Danny asked, heading towards the cabinets. Mac was intrigued at how Danny seemed to know where everything was without looking. "My mom has a great recipe. Proper Italian chocolate; none of that powdered crap."

"Sure," Mac offered quietly, and Danny quickly looked back to confirm he was ok. Danny seemed to do that a lot, Mac thought, and he wasn't sure what that said. As Danny wandered around the kitchen, Mac took the time to look at him. To really look. The younger man's hair was messier than it was earlier, and Mac noticed he was now wearing glasses. That seemed familiar to him. Did Danny only recently change to contacts?

"I remember this," Mac piped up, and Danny immediately turned to him. "The glasses," Mac clarified. "You used to wear them all the time?" Danny nodded and leaned against the counter as he spoke.

"I stopped wearing them because suspects have a nasty habit of running, and I was sick of buying a new pair every week." Mac laughed softly, which caused Danny to smile. Danny looked at Mac for a moment longer, before turning back to the stove.

"I like you better with glasses," The words were out before Mac could stop them, and Danny's movements stopped dead. Slowly, Danny turned to look at Mac, confusion evident on his face. Mac felt the urge to continue, and he was sure the head injury was to blame. "They frame your face," Mac offered, his voice a little quieter. "I like that." Danny smiled a little bashfully before turning back to the hot chocolate. Mac sat on a nearby stool and just watched Danny work. Once everything was ready, Danny turned back with the mugs and handed one to Mac.

"It'll be hot," Danny said, clearly needing something to say. "Be careful."

"I lost my memory, Danny," Mac smirked a little. "Not my common sense." Danny hid a smile in his mug as he took a sip of the chocolate. Apparently forgetting his own advice, Danny burned his mouth a second later. This caused Mac to laugh aloud; the first real laugh Danny had heard in a long time. Standing up, Mac patted Danny's shoulder as he coughed.

"Careful," Mac was smiling and Danny couldn't help smiling back. "It's hot."

"Smartass," Danny shot back and Mac chuckled again. It took a moment for either man to realise Mac was still holding Danny's shoulder.

"You always talk to your boss like that?" Mac asked, trying to keep it light. Danny smirked.

"Not my boss right now," He answered quietly. Mac gave a small, self-deprecating laugh.

"I don't suppose I am. I mean, I can't even remember my own badge number, let alone the rules of the lab." Danny looked into Mac's eyes, genuine sympathy there.

"You'll get it," He assured. "I've known you a long time, and I've never seen you set out for something and not get it." Mac didn't have a response to that, so he just inclined his head in a small nod.

"Do we… do this a lot?" Mac asked cautiously. "Hang out together?" Danny seemed startled by the question; taking his time to answer carefully.

"We used to," He offered. "It's been a while."

"Why?" Mac didn't mean to blurt it, but Danny didn't seem to mind.

"Life just gets in the way," He explained with a sad expression. They fell into silence a moment longer before Mac gave a weary sigh.

"Think I'll try and get some sleep," Mac mumbled, and Danny nodded. Mac left the room slowly; still mindful of his injuries.

"Hey," Danny stopped Mac with the call. "If you need anything…"

"Thanks," Mac smiled before leaving.

(~*~)

Mac looked at himself in the mirror the next morning. He'd dressed himself while still half asleep and it appeared his subconscious remembered more than he did. He'd even dare to say he looked like a real detective. Adjusting the 'd' pin on his lapel, Mac left the bedroom.

Danny smiled when he saw Mac enter the living area. He was dressed like usual; he looked like Mac again. Danny's eyes were drawn to Mac's bandaged arm, and quickly flicked over when he saw a glimmer. Mac was wearing his wedding ring. Mac noticed the widening of his eyes and looked down to his own hand. He ran a thumb over the ring; a sudden tightness in his chest.

"It's a habit," Mac mumbled. "When I was married first, I always forgot it on the bathroom sink. Claire made sure I was wearing it before I left for work. I guess it stuck." Mac looked up quickly once he'd stopped talking. Danny looked just as shocked as he was.

"Claire…" Memories flooded Mac's mind, and Danny only just made it over to stop Mac falling to the floor. When he got back to himself, there were tears on Mac's face. He worked to control his breathing, noticing that he was leaning into Danny's embrace. They stayed like that for a while, before Mac turned timidly towards Danny.

"Sorry," He mumbled.

"It's alright," Danny smiled softly. "We don't have to go to the lab if you don't feel up to it. The others will understand."

"No," Mac replied immediately, pulling away slowly and standing on his own feet. "I need to do this." Danny considered Mac carefully for a moment before nodding and leading the way out of the apartment.


	6. Chapter 6

The lights were too bright. Mac had to stop himself from lifting a hand to shield his eyes, instead choosing to squint. Danny had stopped just outside the elevators and allowed Mac to walk into the lab first. It was busy; a low hum of activity permeated Mac's mind, and he felt himself relaxing. Following his feet, Mac walked through the lab and straight to his office. He could feel Danny trailing behind, giving him space like he had been this entire time. A wave of affection for the younger man washed over him, and Mac stopped before entering his office to let Danny catch up. The feel of Danny's presence at his back gave Mac the final bit of strength he needed to open the door and step inside.

The office looked tidy. Mac supposed it would have to be, considering he was in charge of this whole building. That idea made him uneasy; not even knowing what kind of man he was, let alone what kind of boss. Mac turned to see Danny standing in the doorway, a soft look on his face. Unable to form words, Mac waved Danny in. The younger man did as he was bid, shutting the door behind him. They stood in silence for a few moments; Danny once again giving Mac the space required to process the new environment. The quiet was interrupted by a knock on the door. Mac looked to Danny, sudden fear on his features. Danny's responding look was sympathetic, and he turned to open the door. Adam was waiting on the other side, and Danny stepped aside to let him in.

"Sorry to interrupt," Adam spoke softly. "I need someone so sign-off on this, and Stella is still in the field." Adam handed over a manila folder as he spoke. Mac's relieved exhalation that Adam had only wanted to see Danny did not go unnoticed, but nobody in the room mentioned it. Danny signed the papers where required and gave Adam an encouraging smile when it was obvious he wanted to speak to Mac. "I, uh…" Adam turned towards Mac as he began to speak. "I'm on lunch in ten minutes. Do you want me to pick anything up for you? Either of you?"

Mac's answering smile was somewhat wan, but it still made Adam feel better. His response was hushed, and Adam couldn't stop himself stepping closer to hear. "Yes, please. That would be nice."

"What do you…" Adam stopped himself, remembering the situation, and just smiled. "I know what you like; I'll get something from the deli around the corner." He looked towards Danny, who was still standing by the door. "Pastrami on rye?" Danny smiled widely at this, and patted Adam on the shoulder as the young man moved past him towards the door.

"Don't forget the mustard," Danny called after Adam, who just waved a hand in a 'you got it' gesture. Danny was still smiling when he turned back to Mac.

"Adam is very sweet," Mac spoke softly. "I… I don't feel like I deserve it."

"You've done a lot for him," Danny replied, moving to the sofa in Mac's office and sitting down. "He loves you… we all do."

Mac seemed shocked at this admission. The surprise was quickly replaced with a warm feeling, and Mac moved to sit next to Danny. "I get the feeling we don't talk about this much."

"Regular you doesn't feel like you deserve it either," Danny conceded. "Stella probably tells you more than you're comfortable with and, well… guys don't really talk about it – much less cops."

Mac laughed and gave a nod. That much he did know. A thought niggled in the back of his mind; one of reading a scientific paper on the concept of Toxic Masculinity. Instinctively, Mac turned his head towards his desk. It was neat and tidy, but something felt off about it. Mac stood up and stepped towards the desk. Danny stayed where he was. When he got to the desk, Mac looked down at it. Something wasn't right. It took a moment before he realised the problem. With a soft smile, Mac reached out and moved the pen holder from one side of the desk to the other. It was a little thing, but now Mac felt something click into place. He turned back to look at Danny, who wasn't even trying to hide the pleased expression at Mac's action. He was gaining ground at every turn, and Danny was becoming hopeful that the old Mac would be back in no time.

"Don't you have work to do?" Mac asked Danny, only to wince a second later when he realised the tone he had used. "Sorry."

Danny's responding laugh was joyful, and he stood up. "Now that sounds like the Mac I know… apart from the apology." Danny threw in a wink for good measure before heading towards the door. "I do have a few things to take care of. I'll bring lunch up when Adam gets back. You just relax and see if being here helps any more. Feels like it already is."

When Danny turned back to Mac for confirmation, he got a tight smile and a nod. It appeared he wasn't expecting anything further, as Danny returned the smile and left the room with no further comment. Mac gripped the edge of the desk as he watched Danny leave, unsure of why he wanted to call the younger man back and keep him close. Mac supposed it was natural; Danny was his anchor in this mess, and it was normal to want someone with him in his current state. Taking a deep breath, Mac made himself move around his desk and sit down. This too felt familiar, and Mac sat in silence for a moment longer.

Mac couldn't tell how much time had passed before there was a knock at the door. It must have taken him too long to respond, as Danny opened the door without prompting and stepped back into the room with a paper bag in his hand. Mac could only assume this was lunch. Danny looked up from closing the door and stopped in his tracks at the sight of Mac sat behind his desk. It looked so natural, and Danny couldn't have stopped the grin that took over his face if he'd wanted to.

"Lunch?" Danny asked as he walked towards Mac's desk. He perched himself on the edge and watched Mac wince as he put the food down in front of him. Mac met his eyes and Danny chuckled at the expression there. It was unmistakable, and Danny moved himself off the desk and onto one of the chairs opposite Mac. The responding smile Mac offered was small and soft. Danny didn't draw attention to it; truth be told he was a little thrown by being exposed to the softer side of Mac that was so rarely seen with such frequency. Instead he opened the bag and handed Mac his sandwich, took his own, and began eating. Mac did the same and the silence was comfortable. Danny couldn't stop himself checking on Mac every few moments, but if Mac noticed he didn't mention it. Once the food was finished, Danny cleared up and sat himself once again in front of Mac.

"Are you good to stay here a little longer, or would you rather go home?"

Mac gave this question some thought, looking out the window as he did. It was a nice day. Mac found himself saying "I'd like to go for a walk," and the shocked expression Danny wore when Mac turned back to him told Mac this was an odd occurrence.

"Sure," Danny eventually replied. "Central Park?" Mac's responding smile was enough to push Danny to his feet and towards the door. Mac followed along behind, that smile still in place.


	7. Chapter 7

Their walk was quiet. Danny didn't push Mac to speak, and Mac was looking around as if in a daze. The fresh air and warm sun felt good on his healing skin, and having Danny next to him was a comfort, even if he wasn't quite sure why. They walked the shortest route around the park before returning to the car they'd arrived in.

By the time they arrived back at the lab, Stella was back from the field. She smiled as soon as she saw Mac, and wasted no time in stepping towards him.

"Hey, you're back," she smiled. "Adam told me you'd stepped out for some air."

"Hey Stella," Danny spoke up, partially to let Mac know who he was talking to, and also to give him a second to think. "We took a spin around the Park."

"Lucky it's been a quiet day," Stella replied with a wink. "I've just finished cataloguing. Who wants coffee?"

"Thanks, Stella," Mac spoke next. "Coffee would be great. Can you bring it up to my office?"

"Sure," Stella practically beamed as she spoke.

"Danny," Mac turned to the other man. "Would you mind giving us a while?"

Danny regarded Mac for a moment, as if judging whether the older man was safe to be left alone, and eventually smiled. "Sure. I've got some paperwork to catch up on. Stella, I'll help you with the coffee first. Mac, come get me when you're ready to go home?"

"Sure." Mac nodded.

"Let's go," Stella smiled and led Danny towards the break room. Mac watched them go for a moment before retreating to his office.

(~*~)

"So how is he?" Stella asked as soon as they were out of earshot. Danny offered a timid smile before answering.

"He's good. I think. He's remembering things, but not really in order. I don't know how these things work, but he seems to be in good spirits at least. Physically the doctor says he'll be fine in a month. Mentally… well it might take a while."

"That's good, that he's remembering. From what I've read, the faster he begins to remember the better it is." Stella went about making coffee while Danny hung back.

"I think it'll be good for him to talk to you. You've known him longer than me, and he's probably a little sick of me by now."

"He could never be sick of you, Danny," Stella replied with a smile. "But a different perspective might help."

"The doctor said not to push. If we tell him what he should be remembering, it could cause problems. If he asks questions you can answer, though. I checked on that."

"Good research, Mr Messer," Stella teased. Danny smiled and took the coffee she offered him.

(~*~)

Mac was sitting on the sofa in his office when Stella arrived with coffee. She handed his cup over and sat down next to him.

"Am I in love with Danny?"

The question made Stella choke on her coffee, and she looked over to see Mac trying to hide a smile.

"I… Yeah," Stella sighed. "You are. You have been for… well, it's been a while."

"Does he know?" Mac pressed for information. "I keep getting these flashes; images of kissing him, or… and I can't tell if it's desire or reality, and I don't know if he's staying quiet to protect me or if I'm just a moron who hasn't told him how I feel."

"I wouldn't say 'moron' exactly," Stella answered his question with a sympathetic smile. "It's a complicated situation. He's your employee, and… y'know, I'm not going to parrot all the excuses you've given me back to you. Right now you need to focus on getting better."

"As long as I know I'm not going crazy," Mac offered a smile. "Every time he gets close to me, I…"

Mac trailed off just as Stella began to laugh. "Believe me, Mac. I know."

(~*~)

The ride back to Mac's apartment was quiet, and Danny didn't press for conversation. Mac had been pensive ever since his talk with Stella. He didn't seem unhappy, from what Danny could tell, just reserved.

They made it to Mac's place without incident, and Danny took his cues from Mac when they were inside. They sat together in silence for a moment, before Mac turned towards Danny. The younger man mirrored his boss' movements, and looked into his eyes with curiosity.

"Everything ok, Mac?"

"I, uh…" Mac looked at Danny and faltered. The younger man's expression was entirely open, and there was nothing Mac could think of to explain himself. With a sigh, he muttered "Forgive me," before leaning forward and kissing a startled Danny.

The flash was immediate; memories tumbling over themselves as Mac lost himself in the feel of Danny's lips against him. It had taken Danny a second to catch up, but now that he was getting the idea he kissed back with fervour. Mac pulled away, panting, and looked at Danny with surprise and joy.

"I remember," he sighed. "Everything. All of it… no, wait… no that's not right. Not all. There are little bits, but I remember you and Stella, I remember the team and…" Mac looked up at Danny with a grin. "And I remember wanting to do that for a couple of years."

"You never said," Danny replied, a similar grin on his own face. "I, uh, I don't need to forgive you, by the way."

"Good," Mac was still smiling. He was sure he hadn't felt this happy in a long time. "Because we've got a lot of time to make up."

Danny couldn't stop laughing as Mac took his hand and hurried him back towards the bedrooms. His questions about Mac's sudden 'grabbiness', and suggestions that he might still be brain damaged to want Danny, were met with more kisses and a fond request to stop talking.

The End.

* * *

 _A/N. Ok, so the end is a little abrupt, and that whole 'one kiss to break the spell' thing is a little cliche. Still, I wanted a happy ending. I hope you enjoyed it at least a little. This is almost definitely going to be my last CSI:NY story._

 _With any luck it won't be my last story, full stop though._


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